Have you ever awakened one morning with the sudden realization that you are a different person than you once were? That somewhere along the way, tiny imperceptible changes flickered in you and accumulated until one day it suddenly seemed very obvious that you were a different version of you? Despite how much my literary and sometimes drama-seeking sensibilities wish I could enjoy this experience as I awakened one morning- despite how symbolic it would be to rise as a new person with a new day, I, unfortunately have never had that experience. In fact, most often, by the time Forrest has completed thirty minutes of personal scripture study, eaten breakfast, prepared my breakfast, fed his babies (which are onions, tomatoes, and peppers that he started growing in egg cartons to be transplanted to our garden) prepared both of our lunches, prepared himself for the day, I can usually still be found in bed, almost completely unconscious.
However, recently, I have been feeling changes inside of me (and I don’t mean that I’m pregnant.) I have just begun to notice that in certain situations, I think or respond differently than I would have a year or two ago—certainly than I would have 6 years ago when I was in high school. I suppose this is probably what they call “life?” Change and evolution born of experience and education? Though some of the changes are positive and heartening, some of the changes are unfortunate. It is quite overwhelming really, in the middle of a conversation, to realize that the way you are thinking or acting is not the way you would think or act if the same thing or when the same thing happened not too long ago. Does this make sense?
6 comments:
It makes perfect sense! Thinking of how selfish and how I had no work ethic in high school, and now I have done a complete 180!!
Just remember, our little cottage that once was so familiar and comfortable will have to go through major renovations to become the mansion the Lord has planned for us. Sometimes, when He knocks down a wall we are so excited and ready to add that new kitchen. But then, when He puts in the grand spiral staircase, we think maybe we weren't really ready for that second floor. Only the Master Carpenter knows what we really need. Trust Him and everything will turn out beautifully! Love you!
Just remember, our little cottage that once was so familiar and comfortable will have to go through major renovations to become the mansion the Lord has planned for us. Sometimes, when He knocks down a wall we are so excited and ready to add that new kitchen. But then, when He puts in the grand spiral staircase, we think maybe we weren't really ready for that second floor. Only the Master Carpenter knows what we really need. Trust Him and everything will turn out beautifully! Love you!
All I can say Elin is just wait until you're about to turn thirty, then you'll really start wondering about how much you've change, or if you've changed enough!=)
That makes perfect sense to me! Sometimes I find it slightly alarming that I don't think the way I used to.
Sorry for this very late comment- I haven't been feeling well:) I think realizing how much you have changed and grown is great. I think there is a problem when you ARE acting and thinking the same as you were 3,4,or 5 years ago. That shows there isn't a progression and we know when we aren't progressing we aren't moving forward but in an opposite direction. Life has a funny way of teaching and molding us in ways that we never thought possible. The hard part, I think, is accepting these changes for the good instead of fighting against them. I probably didn't make any sense but I hope you understand.
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