Flogging is Never Fun

Guess what I did for my 24th birthday? I played golf for the first time. And on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the best) guess how naturally talented I am when it comes to the game of golf. The answer is 0...maybe 0.2 if your generous. That smile I have on my face in the picture above--it is forced. In fact, I actually like to call the game "flog," as in Elin's very soul is flogged every time she swings and can't hit the stupid miniscule ball more than 3 inches or entirely misses the stupid miniscule ball. (Laurel had a natural swing.) I'd also like to mention, mainly for the ears of my sister Rachell who mistakenly believes I win every game I play, that on my birthday Saturday, I lost every single game I played. I didn't come in second, I didn't come in third. I came in last, every single time. We played golf...I lost. We played scrabble and speed scrabble, I came in dead last. I think we played a few more games but I have blocked them entirely from my memory. Happy birthday to me. I am not liking what this might be foreshadowing about the 24th year of my life.

On a more positive note, I don't know what good form in flog is, but whatever it is Forrest has got it. Forrest is quite a champ when it comes to flog. In fact, every time he swung that club, I couldn't help but compare him with Tiger. Their game is practically the same. I mean, look at the images below, they practically are the same person. You may not know this but Tiger is actually married to a Swedish model name Elin. It is like Tiger and Forrest have the same life.








Forrest was really quite good at flog, actually, which shouldn't be a surprise because he plays most sports well. (In the picture above, he is standing kinda far away from the ball though. It must be a practice swing.)

Apart from my soul being flogged, my birthday was wonderful. I spent the entire weekend with my family and received generous gifts from all. The best thing, in all honesty was just being with the people I love. Sappy, I know, but true. Thank you mum, and Ian, and Seth, and Lola, and Forrest, and Rachell, and Tim for being there in Provo with me and making my weekend so wonderful. Thank you Logan & Paula, Daddy, Mom and Dad Roberts, Emily & Kaylee & Alli for and Delys for calling me. Delys, I missed you! (Ian, I am still waiting on my kindle...)

Go Cougs!!! (Naturally, I have to throw that in there.)

Capital of the South

I was ordered to post a blog with the pictures from our recent trip to Atlanta, so I am on campus right now, getting it done. Elin is having a crafty craft-night, and since I needed to use a computer anyway to buy textbooks, she thought it was the perfect opportunity. I am not opposed to blogging. In fact, I enjoy it when I do it. The problem is time and convenience. See, we no longer have the internet at our house, because our connection moved a couple of months ago, and so for me to post, I would have to come to campus, and the only time I could do that would be after work. After work, I have a lot of other things I would rather do than come back to campus. I can’t think of what those things are, but I am sure that there are some. Below, for your viewing pleasure, are a few of the highlights from our trip.

This is a picture of the Atlanta skyline that I took as we flew in. Pretty good shot, eh?

This is at the World of Coca-Cola, where a nice bronze man is serving a drink. I am showing my Y pride. You might notice that this shirt does NOT say “Quest for Perfection.” I had no desire to be laughed at.

This is at the end of the World of Coke tour, where we were able to sample Coke products from around the world. After zooming in, I determined that Elin is drinking Simba brand guarana, from Paraguay. I drank a lot of guarana in Brasil, and this stuff was pretty close to the same flavor (at least as far as I can remember). Shortly after this shot was taken, Elin had her first drink of a purposely caffeinated beverage! Gasp! There were a lot of good flavors, and some not-so-great flavors. I noticed that the not-so-great flavors seemed to come mainly from Europe. Probably France.

After drinking all the Coke products we could handle, we walked about forty yards to the Georgia Aquarium. I found out quickly that I drank more than I could handle, and so I had to stop by the bathroom several times before we made it through the entire place. It was pretty incredible (the aquarium), and reinforced my belief in three things: evolution, the Almighty Creator, and absolute avoidance of deep, open water.

These pictures just do not do justice to the grandeur of these creatures. Since I can’t write a caption that will do them justice, I won’t try.

I am pretty sure that I took these two pictures from below. Part of the aquarium was a tunnel, so you could walk (or take a moving sidewalk for all of 15 feet) under the water, as it were. It was pretty sweet.

After the aquarium, we dropped by the Varsity, which is (correct me if I am wrong, Logan or Paula) the first drive-in restaurant in America. The shakes were delish, and the rest of the food, well, cheap. The workers were the real treat. If you’ll take a minute to look closely at this picture, you will see a phenomenon only to be found in Atlanta, Ga. It is called the “Two-toned July Sky.” It happens only in the last week of the month, and I was fortunate enough to capture it as I took a picture of the Varsity sign. Simply amazing.

Of all the amazing and fantastic experiences and creatures we encountered while in The Big Peach, little Lydia outdid them all. She was a delight, and Elin and I hated to say goodbye. Someone might notice (like Logan) that there are no pictures of our hosts, Paula and Logan. That is an accident. All these pictures are from the first full day in Atlanta, and I guess we didn’t have any of them. Sorry about that. We had a fantastic time there, and sincerely wish that we could have stayed longer. The above recollections merely scratch the surface. Thank you, Logan and Paula, for being excellent hosts.

*That whole thing about the "Two-toned July Sky" is a lie, if you could not tell. The truth is that I took it from inside the car, and the top part of the windshield made the color difference. And that picture of the Atlanta skyline belongs to Wikipedia.

Ruminations

I have had a wonderful week and I need to shout it to the world. Since shouting it to the world is beyond my lung capabilities, I will tell you here on the blog which has unfortunately morphed into the ruminations of Elin. Forrest may have given up blogging forever.

Anywho, first of all we went SWIMMING Monday with Tim and Rachell at a pool that is a stone’s throw away from our house. The best part is, the pool has 2 huge swirly waterslides!!! I have not been on a swirly water slide since I was in junior high and man alive they are fun. It was a joy.

Secondly, we spent the 4^th of July with Nathan, Lindsay, Beckett, Wil, Rachell, and Tim and Rachell made a killer potato salad. (Killer in a good way.) Neither Forrest nor I enjoy potato salad but this thing was a work of art. A tintinnabulation to the taste buds.

Thirdly, and this one is in Forrest’s name, we brought out the window air conditioning unit (provided by Daddy Shane last summer) and installed it once again in our living room. Forrest will no longer suffer from the heat.

Fourthly, I have a new cell phone and it is purple and I love it.

Fifthly, we are going to Georgia in less than TWO WEEKS!

Sixthly, I was having a bad day and then Russell called my cell phone and left a message that cheered me. I saved it on my phone and I listen to it regularly. I hope next time he calls he leaves a message and sings me a little tune.

Most importantly, my friend Heather and Rachell came over last night and we had a crafty night. We cut out, ironed, and sewed baby receiving blankets and…..dun dun dun dah!!!! Heather showed me how to thread my sewing machine and put the bobbin in correctly. It was magnificent. I was so nervous that I would forget how to thread the darn thing after Heather left, so I made up a little song to help me remember. This is how it goes:

Pull it under, over, forward.

Sliceroo (pronounce Slice-er-roo).

Bring it down. Pull up hook.

Up the right. Through the scythe.

Close the side.

Down behind. Pull it to you. Thread it through!

It is actually more like a chant-song but it works every time. Can I just say that one day, maybe I can be a sewing machine designer. Then I will create the most convoluted, ridiculous pattern to thread a needle that was ever invented. Honestly, why on earth do you have to take the thread up and down and forwards and backwards and through scythe-looking, paper-clippy things? Does it really need to go through all of that to function?

I don’t know. I am just happy to finally be master of my sewing machine….for now…..

A Plethora of Picturolas

I believe the time has come for Forrest Daniel and I to post some pictures. We have had quite a few adventures in the last 7 months and we want to share the love:

Forrest just had his last wisdom tooth yanked, but he promised he would post his descriptions of the marvelous events depicted below when he is off of the drugs.....

Sledding with Russell over New Years
Forrest and Beckett doing what boys do...

The No Swimming sign at Zion's emerald lakes... Nathan, Ben, Forrest, Rachell and Beckett all had their swimming suits on.

Ryanne and Ben during our Bryce Canyon Hike

The beginning of the Bryce canyon hike was this scary, steep, winding descent.

I love this picture! Little Beckett and Nathan and Forrest fishing at some lake near Duck Creek.

These are Hoodoos...

Forrest taking his fishing very seriously.

Poor little guy.....

We have some good looking boys in our family.

I think Forrest is ready for his geology trek.

This is Ally playing the part of Winnie the Pooh in her summer play. She and Tigger stole the show.

My new haircut....looking kinda funny actually...

The Boys are Back in Town: Shooting Adventures in Frannie

What a nice bum Forrest has!

The Russell: These images are not posed....

Tim full of Enger

Ryanne looking a little too comfortable with this gun.

Forrest's V-day cake that he made for me! Too bad we are on a sugar fast right now.

Forrest in all of his manliness...

New Year's with the Fam

I love Momma Miriam and Daddy Shane!

My brother Layne and my sister Laurel opening Christmas presents!

Best of all...Russell

He-men and She-ra

Just so you know, I have again and again attempted to convince Forrest that it is his turn to post, but he tells me that blogs are no longer cool (I suppose because his sibling don’t update their blogs very often anymore) and then he gives some excuse about not ever being around a computer. Perhaps a few comments from you regarding his lack of verbiage on this page will give him the encouragement necessary? Until he does decide to post, here are a few thoughts (I am planning on posting pictures soon so prepare yourself):

We recently returned from spending three full glorious days in Frannie, Wyoming. I am being completely honest when I say that I love that town. Friday we lazed about with the family: the girls watched Wives and Daughters and the boys went shooting for three hours. Then we ate a delicious dinner which consisted of Café Rio-style burritos (thank you Rachell for that genius idea)! Saturday was spent in sunshiny splendor as we worked out in the yard. Rachell, Ryanne, mom, and I raked up a truckload of leaves (honestly-I kid you not-packed down, the leaves filled the back of a truck.) Daddy Shane trimmed some trees. Forrest strapped this ghostbuster-looking contraption on his back and spent the entire time walking around spraying down weeds and unsuspecting feet. But honestly, I think the heroes of the day were Tim and Ben. (Forrest would be counted among the greatest of heroes too, were it not for the spraying of unsuspecting feet.) Tim literally spent the entire day in the front yard, with a pickaxe chopping at the ground and pulling out massive aspen roots that were growing where they should not be growing. Wow. And then Daddy Shane wanted to build some grow boxes for his new plan to garden by the square foot—Within a few hours, Ben had singlehandedly built the grow box and at the same time constantly fed Papa Shane expert arborist advice. Wow. I would bet that if dad had mentioned that he wanted a new roof on the house, Ben could have whipped it out in no time. I think I may have married into a family of He-men.

That evening we were privileged to attend Rocky Mountain High’s final showing of South Pacific. Kyle Peterson was a handsome, dashing Lieutenant Cable and Russell was the French guy (and your accent was perfect.) Tu es le meillure chanteur dans le monde and tu es très beau aussi! Sheesh, Russell, what a voice you have! I am only sorry we missed your Monday night concert. Word on the street is the crowd was on their feet by the end of your solo. If I recall correctly, I think I prophesied this would happen when you were in Provo over Easter weekend. Look! Below is basically Russell the frenchman wooing his lady through song:

I must also report on a momentous event which took place yesterday evening. The first grandchild of Mark and Marilyn Jenson was born to Delys Tyler in Boston, MA. I am beyond delighted. My sister has a little baby girl and her name is Katelyn Mae Tyler. (I hope I spelled that correctly...) My sister is my hero because she did not have an epidural and her labor was short and her baby only weighs six pounds and something ounces. The Jenson girls are not known for their smallness (In fact, I recall an occasion in which a good friend of middling height looked up at me and exclaimed, “Elin, you’re huge.” That is a direct quote.) and my mum did not have any children under 8 lbs. I am just delighted that Delys had such a happy first baby experience and that her baby is not a million pounds like we all were. If there was a female version of He-man, my sister would be her. Please feel free to refer to me as Tia Elin from now on :)

P.S. I just heard a gentlemen use the words irascible and curmudgeon in the same sentence. Wow.

Have you ever...

Have you ever awakened one morning with the sudden realization that you are a different person than you once were? That somewhere along the way, tiny imperceptible changes flickered in you and accumulated until one day it suddenly seemed very obvious that you were a different version of you? Despite how much my literary and sometimes drama-seeking sensibilities wish I could enjoy this experience as I awakened one morning- despite how symbolic it would be to rise as a new person with a new day, I, unfortunately have never had that experience. In fact, most often, by the time Forrest has completed thirty minutes of personal scripture study, eaten breakfast, prepared my breakfast, fed his babies (which are onions, tomatoes, and peppers that he started growing in egg cartons to be transplanted to our garden) prepared both of our lunches, prepared himself for the day, I can usually still be found in bed, almost completely unconscious.

However, recently, I have been feeling changes inside of me (and I don’t mean that I’m pregnant.) I have just begun to notice that in certain situations, I think or respond differently than I would have a year or two ago—certainly than I would have 6 years ago when I was in high school. I suppose this is probably what they call “life?” Change and evolution born of experience and education? Though some of the changes are positive and heartening, some of the changes are unfortunate. It is quite overwhelming really, in the middle of a conversation, to realize that the way you are thinking or acting is not the way you would think or act if the same thing or when the same thing happened not too long ago. Does this make sense?